On Being Asked to Write a Republican Poem 46
Welcome to our wonderful campaign dinner
$1,000-a-plate to support this year’s sinner.
There is nothing we can do to get your job back,
But thanks for supporting our conservative track.
All liberals will be labeled and thrown in the can,
Don’t vote for Brown, he has the best plan!
Labor supports Harkin, so he’s out,
All for the red white and blue stand up and shout!
We have you here to celebrate in style
While unemployed workers stand in line to file.
They file for relief while we go to war,
War creates jobs, that’s what it’s for.
Don’t let these remarks effect your appetite,
We’ve kept the Haitians well out of sight.
So here’s to good times, warm women, cold beer,
And a Dow Jones Industrials without any fear.
And golf games in the midst of Jap-bashing
And philandering Democrats who deserve a good lashing.
Let’s not forget de Furher George Bush
Zeig Heil! (Our commander has a backbone of mush.)
I’m begining to hear a few grumbling sounds
I’m sorry, once again I’ve gone out of bounds.
But your generation has just got to know
That you’ve left your children with no place to go.
Which town will become the next disaster?
Strip mines, clear cuts or nuclear reactor?
With the fall of the commies and Saddam being meek,
Who will be our next enemy of the week?
Ah, but I’ve strayed from my original job:
To write a poem in favor of your type of mob.
I’m sorry I couldn’t, your greed makes me mad
To think of all the luxuries you’ve had
While most people struggle for food on their plate
You sit here and toast their miserable fate.
By now you’re thinking “this guys quite an ass”
“86” the buffoon, give him the gas.
But if one single line that I’ve written tonight
Makes you sad for the poor, then I’m right.
The next war will be in Korea or Cuba,
Or Zaire, or Egypt, or Haiti or Aruba.
There’s no need to fear, our forces will win,
You can keep right on drinking your tonic and gin.
Just keep on smiling, in this delight:
Oppressing the downtrodden is our national right.
Copyright, Doug Stuber, 1987. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given, and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.