In the good ole days (say the early 1980s)
A laptop was a kind of naked dance
Performed by the ladies over on Orange Avenue,
Orlando, Florida. These days, other than the
Usual Chihuahuas, which are laptops, in a
Sense, or lesbians, who would rather lap
Fannies, but have been known to lap tops,
Laptops have come to mean something else.
Let’s look at the German derivation. Lap,
Which in Germany is l-o-p-p-e, comes from
An ancient contrivance of the executioner’s
Song. The axe-man, or murderer, as he
Was known to the locals, was actually a
State-sponsored executioner. The people had
Made the error of allowing their government
So much power that, instead of
Rehabilitating the unfortunate souls, who, by
Nature or nurture had “sinned,” they just
“Lopped” off their heads. Hence, a laptop, or loptop
In the oldest sense, is the severed head of a sinner.
The hope here is that one day, our government
Will distinguish between the sin and the
Sinner. Then, maybe the laptops will merely be
Computers. Or, loving, licking attached heads.

Copyright, Doug Stuber, 1997. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given, and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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