BB #47 SFO- ICN Feb 20/21 2015
Self abuse grinds lower, day by day, fierce misconceptions
slip into complete delusion, then you lose all friends
or they lose you, until one day life holds no mystery,
joy, excitement, impetus, love, hope, kindness,
anyone who gives a fuck. Suddenly it boils down
to whether you can muster a day of art or not,
writing or not, music/silence, naked or not, living or…
By then if you’re still married, living in sin,
gay or a flaming masturbatorialist, it can all
betray you, as if you aren’t ever good enough
for yourself. Stop what your mother started: stop
comparing yourself, stop self-imposed guilt trips,
trust intuition no matter how crazy they say you
are. Pretend you’re happy. Lie to yourself and
others until those lies overtake auto-built
depression. Take the damned pills they force
down you, then rekindle the positive once you no
longer have to lie to be happy. Make love with
whomever attracts you if they will have you. If
still married surprise her with a kiss and a lei.
NOthing like a flower necklace to snap into it.